TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.

A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is."

Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".

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NO POINTING FINGERS

A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?"

The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.

If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.

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CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?

A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband ,because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.

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NO OVERPOWERING

Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another,or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character."

It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.

It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..

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RIGHT SPEECH!!!

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other,we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.

A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted,"Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me.Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered ,"You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."

Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.

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PERSONAL PERCEPTION

Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home,a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?"Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.

Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman."

The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.

It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.

Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..

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BE PATIENT .............

This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.

Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, " Daddy,I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide.

Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.

People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.

What could be the health/longevity secrets of the people who lived to a ripe old age? They are amazing. And did you know that people who ate five or six times a day had a five percent lower total cholesterol level than average and were 45 percent more likely to be able to sustain their target weight than people who ate once or twice a day (from Oxford University researchers).
Backed up by tons of medical research, best-selling author David Niven, PhD, reveals a lot more in his very absorbing book The 100 Simple Secrets of Healthy People (available at Powerbooks) while junking myths and misinformation. Let’s name some:

• Easy does it with vitamins. If vitamins are good, then more vitamins are better, right? Dead wrong! The book quotes Dr. Beverly McCabe-Sellers, professor of dietetics and nutrition at the University of Arkansas Medical Sciences School, who gives this robust warning: “Taking too much of an essential vitamin or mineral may be as dangerous as going without the nutrient at all.” Sellers notes how important it is for consumers to heed the warning from the Institute of Medicine against “megadosing” on vitamin supplements (some people take five or even 10 times the recommended dietary allotment for a nutrient).

• Stop the war on bacteria. True, cleanliness is next to godliness, but is it possible that too much cleanliness can be bad for us? That food for thought comes from Tufts University geneticist Stuart Levy. “All that scrubbing and sponging with new antibacterial soaps and detergents may be weakening our immune systems,” warns Levy. “It is killing helpful germs and spurring the growth of mutant strains of super bacteria. Dr. Levy can only long for those days long gone when children built strong immune systems partly by getting dirty. He only wishes we would simply trust the products that our parents used back then: plain soap and water. He asserts, “We are fast becoming a society with an immune system so fragile that even the unpleasantness and misfortunes of daily life send us reeling. We know now, more than ever, that insulating ourselves from pain and fear isn’t possible.”

• You’re never too old to improve your health. You read that right: it’s never too late to improve your health. While you can’t undo your past, you can do something for yourself in the future. The key? Exercise! A Case Western Reserve University research found that increasing the frequency of exercise among those over 72 years old improved their overall health and was associated with a better outlook on life and a 20-percent longer lifespan.

• Couch time affects body and mind. Take a rest — but only in moderation. You wouldn’t want to rust away like a car left in the garage for 20 years, would you?
Mind your health — keep your mind healthy. According to neurologist Robert Friedland of Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, “There is a growing number of studies supporting the theory that an active mind keeps the brain and body healthy. The brain is like any other organ in the body. It ages better, with more health and better function, when it is used.”

• Use the stairs. Instead of taking the elevator or the escalator, take a few flights of stairs — it’s a big step to health. Did you know that spending even just 10 minutes on the stairs each day can make you lose 10 pounds over the course of a year? That’s according to research done at the Centers for Disease Control in Washington, DC.

• A tomato a day is even better. Yes, a tomato a day is even better than an apple a day in keeping the doctor at bay. According to scientists at Ohio State University, five servings of tomatoes a week in any form — raw, canned, cooked, in soups, as sauce or ketchup or as juice — provide enough lycopene to cut the risk of cancer and heart disease in half, and to improve the health of the lungs, eyes, and the skin.

• Eat your spinach (or leafy greens). As the popular spinach-gobbling sailor Popeye would say, “I’m strong to the finish ‘cause I eat my spinach.” Eating two servings a day of foods like tomatoes, leafy green vegetables like, yes, spinach and romaine lettuce, pinto, navy or kidney beans and grain products decreases levels of an amino acid that contributes to the process of underlying heart disease and stroke.

• Drink your grape juice. Just as Teflon coating keeps food from sticking to the pan, the bioflavonoid in grape juice prevents cholesterol from sticking to our arteries. Thus, regular consumption of grape juice reduces the likelihood of clogged arteries and lowers the risk for conditions like heart disease and strokes.

• Yes, you can worry your health away. The stress is on stress, which accounts for two-thirds of doctor visits, according to the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. When you’re stressed, you produce the hormones adrenaline and cortisol. While they are energy boosters, they are also potent inhibitors of our immune system, according to Dr. Kiecolt-Glaser, who adds, “This constant activation of the fight-or-flight response causes various systems of the body to develop chronic problems, such as high blood pressure or a strained heart.”

• Forgiveness helps you heal. Let go of your angry thoughts and let your body and spirit heal. In a study done by doctors at the University of Washington, it was found that holding a grudge raises the heart rate, blood pressure and sweat production in more than nine out of 10 people.

• Breathe right. Are you breathing right? Most of us aren’t. And most of us don’t know that something as ordinary as breathing can actually dramatically change our lives. According to researchers at Harvard University, breathing slowly and deeply from the abdomen triggers a blood flow boost to the brain and up to a 65-percent reduction in stress. Now you know.

• Use discretion with Internet advice. “There’s a staggering amount of medical misinformation on the Internet,” warns Dr. Scott Matthews of the University of California, San Diego. The good doctor is alarmed that patients with cancer and other life-threatening conditions often turn to alternative medicine, and a lot of times, their source of information is the Internet. People who have read Dr. Matthew’s study are grateful to him for weeding out some of the danger and the make-believe in health information.

• Remember, ginkgo biloba won’t help your memory. The ginkgo biloba is touted as a memory enhancer. But here’s something to keep in mind: There’s no shred of scientific evidence to back up those marketing claims. “Don’t worry, it’s normal,” says neuropsychologist David Salmon. “Especially as we get older, our brains just work less efficiently. Things we could remember effortlessly when we were younger require more effort when we get older.”

And remember to pass on these secrets.

Courtesy of:
PHILSTARCONSUMERLINE By Ching M. Alano Tuesday, August 28, 2007

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