Are we really heading towards the right direction?
Posted: Friday, May 23, 2008 by Rom in Labels: alimony, article on child bearing, children, dysfunctional family, family, family decision, father, having a baby, having a family, Mother
It is proven time and again that if people disrupt the natural course of life disaster follows. Look around you, chaos all over—global warming, AIDS, earthquake, calamities…an endless stream of human strife made possible by the humans itself in their futile attempt to modify what was originally designed for them.
Take for example the idea of creating a human life. For a large number of people around the globe conceiving a baby nowadays does not entail the accountability to build a safe environment in which life can flourish. Newly weds and neo parents somehow think that everything is all right as they have a child and thinks that the world around them will definitely fall into place just like the movies. But the shoddiest of all things is movies ain’t the real thing and it does not distinguish the value these new parents as being defective.
I overheard one Pastor in one of his sermon said that “it is always a good thing when a child is born.” Sorry to burst your bubble Mr. Pastor but a child being born to a family in a heap of garbage in the arms of his parents without the ability to feed a child is a child condemned either to die or to become a dependent of the state. A child who grows up in a home where the word “loving relationship” is synonymous to beating and insulting is condemned to countless mental and psychological dysfunction and disturbance.
The problem has gone haywire, yet the solution is so simple that people doesn’t see it right under their nose. Most people see things habitually as they expect that the world is responsible for them and not the other way around. They never see things such as they themselves is the one and only responsible for their inadequacy. Thus people will have children no matter what the consequences may be.
The irony says it all: people who do not have the ability to feed themselves brought a child in this world to feed.
Our present dispensation of the law protects the women and children against the abandonment of the father. Safety measures such as the women have the right to demand alimonies and support from a divorce or child support after the failed marriage. Sure thing justice wave and smiles to those oppressed mother and child. But not exactly. The justice system in its impartiality failed to see the most important part other than alimony.
Justice may have put a penalty to the father by letting him pay certain amount for his mistake for the rest of his life. That’s sweet as many mothers can’t put food on the table while nursing a baby. We know that it is the most righteous thing to do as the pity and responsiveness goes well up to the mother and child. Our heart is always inclined to those oppressed, browbeaten and exploited ones.
My point is again, getting back to the natural course of human existence. If the baby are being used as a bargaining chip in order for the father to fulfill his financial obligation and not to accomplish his nurturing capacity—that’s where the problem starts. Fulfillment of responsibilities should not come from legal pressures; instead it should be by love. If not possible it should be none at all. The dysfunctionality of the family always came from the situation wherein a child have a father living in a distant place with his “other” family and sees him when its time to hand some money. The responsibility should also be extended to the mother in the first place, that if you can’t find a loving partner who would nurture and stick around with you and be at your side to raise the baby—you are not allowed to have a child.
The logic is simple. Please let us not fill this world with children who wears oversized shirt in an undersized emotion hoping to find them a role in a reality TV show somewhere in the limbo of imaginative loveless world. Having children is easy but raising them up to be a responsible one in a functional family is one heck of a job.
I know a woman who got married as mail-order-bride. Then there’s this girl who punch a hole in her boyfriend’s condom to get pregnant and force the guy to marry her. I happen to witness a mother who sold her baby girl to a pedophile. The recent news shows a dead 5 year old kid covered in black and blue right in his bedroom after his step father is through with him.
That is I think because human alter what was once God has given him. Getting married because you love somebody--having a child because you love each other and agree to raise a child responsively. All things that are off track are definitely bound to crash.
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